Today while I was attempting to pay attention to a dull lecture on the various conditions that are satisfied through majority rule concepts my thoughts wandered to sex*. I was also thinking about the explication I have to write on a poem about a naked chick walking down stairs. Then the lecturer mentioned something about war and I started thinking about both, sex and war. And you know what? They have a lot in common! Let's explore!
1. You must be mentally prepared for it. Whether you're a wuss that doesn't like to kill people or you've got insecurities about your penis/vagina/butt/breast size, you've gotta be mentally prepared and committed to go.
2. You need to be equipped. Penis/vagina = guns/bullets or sticks and stones(William Wallace style). With the dawn of modern technologies there are nearly an infinite number of combinations. examples: plastic female recreational intercourse devices + belly button**, nuclear weapons pointed at small insignificant countries of no discernible value (to America at least) + big red button, nunchucks + Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, etc.
3. Protection. Self explanatory but some examples: Condoms, birth control, bullet proof vests, trash bags***, etc...
4. Hair. This is more about the "hair on your chest" figure of speech in regards to war. You should be old enough to grow hair down there in order to participate in sexual activity, even then it may be against the law(check ID's). Though personal choices to shave/wax/manscape is fine, just as long as you're able to grow it. If you're in the military and you're waxing your chest, you still can't tell anyone about it****.
5. A withdrawal plan. When you get in there it might get a little too hot to handle so you gotta be able to pull out at the appropriate time.
6. Treaties. You go in on their territory and violate their way of life with horrific methods, the least you can do is buy them breakfast. Oh yeah, for war, kinda the same thing. We screwed you in the ass, so here's some ass cream.
Ok, that's all I got. Love(making) and war have a few things in common, but despite their similarities if I had a choice I know it would be an easy decision despite the messy, violent affair that it can be*****.
*this was between the normal thoughts of sex that occur every 8 seconds
**The belly button thing is weird, but along with technologies fetishes are also adding more combinations. Seriously though, belly buttons? While you were in the womb, your mother fed you through that hole...if it even really constitutes as a hole anymore.
***Don't ask, shit happens.
****today the senate failed to repeal "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"
*****If it wasn't clear, I was talking about sex.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
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